18. Oral sex

Father,

I have a question about oral sex. Is it acceptalbe in the Catholic Church?

Is it a sin if my financee wanted to do oral sex on me. I told him that it is not right to do that, but he doesn't believe me. I tried to refuse doing that before marriage, but I don't know if that is ok after marriage.

Please advise us what to do, so we don't break our loving and spiritual life of each other.

Thao Moc

Reply:

My dear Thao Moc,

Concerning the sexual life between husband and wife, Vatican Council II wrote: “The actions within marriage by which the couple are united intimately and chastely are noble and worthy one. Expressed in a manner which is truly human, these actions signify and promote that mutual self-giving by which enrich each other with a joyful and thankful will...” (GS 49)

The Council also reinterated that "by nature, the institution of matrimony itself and conjugal love are ordained for the procreation and education of children and find in them their ultimate crown...

The sex organs and the other related organs were created for the procreation and with actions involved they created pleasure and the couple has all the rights to offer and receive this pleasure as it indicates and strengthens the bond between husband and wife.

The other organs have been designed for different purposes. Therefore any misuse of those organs is wrong, therefore this action turns to be treating the other partner as a piece of toy rather than indicating and strengthening the bond between husband and wife and as parents.

St. Alphonsus said that although husband and wife can touch, caress and cuddle the other parts of the body at foreplay (to prepare each other ready for the intercourse) but the ejeculation must happen inside the vagina.

May God bless you and give you a gift of discernment.